Isn’t it so interesting how generations and generations of humans have regarded the wedding day as “the best day ever?”
I mean, in a lot of ways, yes, it is the best day of your life. But really, it’s the best day of your life so far…
I am taking a risk here, I know, but I just have to be honest.
My wedding wasn’t the best day of my life.
Don’t get me wrong. Our wedding was uhhhh-maze-ing. If you were there, can I get an amen? It was the bomb. We were surrounded by the most amazing people in our lives, and we felt so much love literally radiating in the atmosphere around us. We worshipped with all of our guests before ever speaking a word of our vows. We took communion together, we laughed through those vows, we shouted with joy after our first kiss, and we did all of it with our closest brothers and sisters as witnesses to our covenant.
Then we partied. We partied hard. We ate steak, mashed potatoes, beans, and salad, and paired it with the best champagne. And then we danced like we had never danced before. We even stuck to our promise– that we would be the first ones on the dance floor and the last ones to leave. We didn’t miss one second of the celebration.
So how could a celebration like that along with becoming forever one with my husband not be the best day of my life?
The thing is, the wedding day is easy. I mean, maybe you’re nervous or even a little stressed, but it’s easy to let every fear and worry fall away on a day like that. It is easy to let go of any of the trivial issues you worried about in premarital counseling or the petty argument you had the weekend before while doing the last minute planning. It’s easy to be in romantic bliss and trust that God will carry you through all things, and that your vows might be challenged at some point, but you promised… so it will all be okay.
Maybe that’s why they say it’s the best day ever… there are very few moments in life where you are so carefree and blissfully ignorant of the issues that life throws at you.
But for me, that’s exactly why my wedding wasn’t the best day of my life. Because it was easy.
What about all the times after the wedding day that are anything BUT easy? What about the days when you genuinely want to walk away, but divorce isn’t part of your belief system? What about the times you feel so crushed that it literally hurts to move? What about the days when you completely avoid speaking to your friends because they will know something is wrong, and you are embarrassed to let them know the pain you are feeling because they stood with you on your wedding day? Shouldn’t those days be the best days of my life?
I know what you are thinking. “How could those days be the best days of your life?”
It’s really quite simple. Those days are the best days of my life because it is in those moments that I have to make the choice to say, “YES. I still do.”
The best day of my life was the day I chose to love my husband even after he yelled at me telling me I was crazy. Then, the best day of my life was the day I chose to forgive him when he told me he desired another woman’s body more than mine. And then the best day of my life was the day I chose to still love him even after he admitted to engaging in behaviors that were far from pure.
The best day of my life is every day that is not easy, but I still choose love and forgiveness. The best day of my life is every day that I choose to remain in covenant, even when I don’t want to.
My wedding may have been the happiest day of my life, but it was not the best.
The best day of my life is every day that I choose to say I still do.
It is in these moments that I live out my wedding day, that I put my money where my mouth is, and I truly walk in love that is beyond me. It is in these moments that I learn to truly die to myself, remember the goodness of God, and remember who my husband really is.
Those days… those hard, dark, and depressing days will always be the best days of my life.