Archives for October 2017

When It Hurts To Love Your Baby

October 31, 2017

I recently read an article about finding joy in the midst of parenting, embracing all the moments, and choosing to have a positive perspective on parenting. The phrase that stuck out to me was, “it’s ALL JOY.” And being someone that is literally nuts about my baby girl, I wholeheartedly resonate with that. Somehow, in the midst of every exhausting day, and in the midst of every parenting trial, I still find being a mama to be the greatest joy I have known on this Earth. But I am also someone who happens to have a very, uh, passionate, strong willed, and determined child. She’s only ten months old and she is more confident of what she wants in life than I am, I swear. And with her determined and strong willed nature comes lots of choices for me. Do I lose my cool? Do I complain? How do I manage my stress levels? What do I do when I am genuinely frustrated with her? And with all of those choices comes the underlying choice that drives all the rest: Will I choose joy? The reality is, sometimes it hurts to love your baby. But even in the midst of that pain, there’s a joy. So how do we find that?…

What To Do When Your Husband Cheats On You

October 26, 2017

If you are married or have ever been married, you know that marriage is hard work. It’s nothing short of complicated and exhausting, and it’s also the most magical and mind blowing partnership one could ever imagine. I can’t speak for every marriage, but in speaking for my own, I can also say it can be the most fun and amazing experience on a daily basis- if I allow it to be. And it is without question that my husband and I are responsible for making choices that create the most healthy atmosphere possible in our marriage.

But what happens when we don’t?

What happens when one or the other of us begins to make choices that do more harm than good to our relationship? And then what happens when those choices begin to pile up, resulting in consequences that seem greater than our ability to manage?…

What It Means To Speak The Truth In Love

October 24, 2017

Confession: I have deleted this and rewritten it more times than I would ever like to admit. Seriously, I have spent more time shying away from sharing this post than I have spent showering in the last three months. But something clicked with me yesterday. I realized that the reason I keep deleting it and rewriting it is because it is because I really need to share it. Speaking the truth in love is an idea that gets tossed around like a buttermilk pancake, and it’s time we put it on the plate, cut it up, and dig in.

I don’t know about you, but I have spent most of my (christian) life with a pretty concrete idea of what it means to speak the truth in love. I really believed that it meant bringing correction or saying “hard” things that others needed to hear, but doing it in love.

That is, I used to believe that.

Over the last couple of years, I started to notice a trend. I noticed it mostly in my own life, but I saw it in the lives of others as well. I noticed that in times of deep struggle, there was a common language used to remind me of the ways I was failing or needed to improve. I heard more times that I can count, “because I love you, I just need to speak the truth in love.” That statement was followed by a way in which I was doing something wrong or needed to improve. I was being told something less than perfect about myself that I already knew.

For about a year, I just nodded and smiled, not having the courage to speak up.

Finally, this past June, I reached out to a mentor and mama friend that is always full of sound wisdom. I asked her something like this: “Have you ever had enough people tell you things about who you are that you start to believe them?” I was at a pretty low place, and I still have not processed whether that was due to family dynamics, delayed postpartum depression, or pure loneliness. But I knew that enough people were correcting me and calling me out in every area of my life, and telling me things about my own heart and motives, that I was starting to believe that there was no good in me.

My mentor replied back with a long and powerful message, and while I would love to share every detail about that, she made a statement that rocked my world.

“Speaking the truth in love has become a license in the church for us to shit on one another.”

I remember every feeling I had as I read that message. Something clicked inside me, and I realized what speaking the truth in love really means.

You see, when we are in a low place- when we are struggling and walking through the lowest valleys in our lives, we are often well aware of our struggles and our shortcomings. We hear the lies that are pounding on heads and hearts, reminding us of all they ways we will never measure up, and we often know very well the ways we have fallen short. We spin on the axis of self criticism and doubt, knowing all too well that we are less than perfect. We are darn good at criticizing ourselves and keeping a tally of all the ways we can do better.

What we don’t know is the truth. What we forget is who we really are. In the midst of all of our own self doubt and criticism, what we don’t need is more reminders that we are struggling with doubt and self criticism and that we need to stop. What we do need is a reminder of who we really are, along with a side of outrageous love in the midst of those struggles.

The value of speaking the truth in love is only there if it speaks to the truth of who someone really is. The value is lost when negativity is dumped on a person, leaving them to process how another person has reminded them of all the ways they already knew they failed.

And here’s the eye opener: Those things are not truths. They are facts.

And while it might be a fact that we have failed in an area, the truth is that we are not failures.

When we think that we are speaking the truth in love by stating the facts to someone, we are neglecting the higher calling in the concept of speaking of the truth in love, which is build one another up.

Reminding someone that they need to improve in a certain area doesn’t build them up. Telling them that they are greater than their struggle does.

And while I do think it’s important to bring correction, to sharpen one another, and confront issues when necessary, when need to stop doing those things under the premise of speaking the truth in love.

Speaking the truth in love should never be a license to shit on people and tell them all the negative things they already know about themselves. Instead, it should always be for the purpose of calling them to a higher place, speaking to who they really are, and encouraging them to be the best version of themselves possible.

Harvest Chicken Chili

October 23, 2017

More chili? Yup, always more chili. If you happened to read my Fall Bucket List, you might know that we are basically obsessed with chili and cornbread, and pretty much have it every chance we can throughout the Fall season! And while I absolutely adore my family’s recipe that we have used since before I was even born, I really like to spice things up. I need change, and I crave trying new things. I have done quite a few variations, including this delicious vegetarian chili, but I can honestly say I have never loved a chili so much as I do this harvest chicken chili….

Dear Everyone, I’m A Fraud

October 19, 2017

Something happened a few months ago. I can’t fully explain it, but it pretty much went down like this: I suddenly started caring way more about what other people think. I’d love to say I have always been someone who lets things roll off my shoulders, but unfortunately, that would be a lie. I lived most of my life really caring, as in it really mattered to me what others thought about me. And then somewhere along the way, by the grace of God and God alone, I stopped caring so much. It was a good thing. I suddenly realized that the opinions of others don’t define me. And with that, I realized that life is too short to worry what other people think. And while I still allowed others to have a voice in my life, I held tight to that truth- that the opinions of others don’t define me.

But then, without warning, that detrimental people pleasing spirit snuck up from behind. No warning. Nothing. Just like that, I was my old people pleasing, people fearing self. I no longer believed that the opinions of others don’t define me….

My Husband Isn’t Enough For Me

October 17, 2017

Here we go. This one is for all the married women out there that are searching for something more… for all the married women that feel like they are stuck… and for all the married women that find themselves feeling like their husband isn’t enough. I feel you. I see you. I get you.

You see, I am you. I am the wife that is always searching for something more. I am the wife that often feels stuck. I am the wife that often finds myself feeling like my husband isn’t enough for me. I am the wife that is constantly longing for more magic than is possible this side of heaven.

Maybe you have a perfect and shiny Disney worthy love story, and that’s awesome. But please, for the sake of your marriage, hear me out….

Pumpkin Pecan Baked Oatmeal

October 16, 2017

Y’all want to know what everyone needs more of in their life? Pumpkin pecan baked oatmeal. That’s what. I mean, really, just baked oatmeal in general… but bonus points if it’s pumpkin. We love baked oatmeal around here. It’s entirely delicious, super easy, stores for a long time, and totally loved by everyone in the house. We look for new ways to enjoy it on the regular. Because it is Fall and everything around us reflects that, pumpkin was the obvious choice for us this time….

4 Tools That Took My Business To The Next Level

October 12, 2017

Y’all, I seriously cannot even begin to explain the excitement I have with the momentum in my business right now. And who do I have to thank for that? Y’all! Seriously, y’all have loved me and supported me and believed in me like no other, and I am forever grateful. Because I love sharing, and I really believe in community over competition, I want to give back and share with y’all the four tools that took my business to the next level. Before I share, however, I want to clarify something. This is not a “how to blog” blog post, and that will never be the direction I take. I feel like bloggers often feel like that’s the only way to make money, and therefore shift gears and neglect who they really are. I will never sacrifice who I am or lose focus for the sake of money. The four tools that took my business to the next level are tools that took me there within my niche. I believe these tools are fundamental and can take any blogger, within any niche, to the next level and bring a great deal of success.

Alright, so here we go. I hope these tools carry you to the next level, whatever your niche or area of expertise may be!…

The Best Marriage Advice That No One Ever Tells You

October 9, 2017

When I think about my marriage, I am filled with a wide array of emotions. I absolutely love being married, and I also think it is one of the most challenging things I have ever experienced. Marriage is certainly not for the faint at heart, but I really do believe that with the love of God and a good set of tools in your belt, anyone can have a lasting and successful marriage. With that said, I think it’s important to seek quality marriage advice- emphasis on quality.

Before I go on to share the best marriage advice with you, I want to elaborate on that last statement. It is so important to get quality marriage advice. But where the heck do you find that? Here are some tips. Think of the couples that inspire you and leave you wondering how they got to where they are. Think of the couples that are outrageously in love after twenty years. And then think of the couples that are newer in their marriage, but are navigating it with abundant grace. The couples that are real and don’t hide their issues, but are always honoring and kind are also great couples to think of. Once you think of all of those couples, go to them and ask them for their best advice….

Pumpkin Spice Granola

October 8, 2017

I really hope y’all aren’t tired of pumpkin yet, because I honestly feel like I am just getting started. This easy pumpkin spice granola is pretty much going to carry me through the season. I’ll eat it for breakfast with almond milk (hello delicious cereal option), I’ll eat it in handfuls as a snack, and I will eat on top of my all time favorite Trader Joe’s item… pumpkin greek yogurt.

Basically, I will be eating it nonstop. And then I will be working out extra to make up for it. Or maybe I will just eat it WHILE working out.

As a side note, my friends always laugh at me for saying that I will need to work out more to make up for eating my treats. Why? Because even though they taste like a million calories, they are as clean as can be. That goes for this granola as well. It is totally clean and totally guilt free….